Twice in the last several months I've had priests tell me to pray, "Jesus, I trust in you." One was to help me through my little sister's journey through pancreatic cancer into the loving arms of our heavenly Father. The other was in Confession, when I shared that it was a struggle to accept her death. I've been reflecting on trust ever since.
The dictionary defines trust as the "firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something." Do I think Jesus is reliable? Absolutely! Does he speak the truth? Completely! Does he have the ability to love and care for me? Of course! And is he strong? I think he proved that on the Cross. So what's my problem? It might be that last bit of holding back from saying, "Here I am, Lord. Do with me what you will." While Jesus has never let me down, I still hold on to that one last little bit of wanting to be in charge of my life. It's crazy, because that has never worked for me. But it is where I am.
So I continue to pray. When I am walking, I make it a mantra. "Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I trust in you." When I am in the shower, I pray it. When I go to bed, my last prayer is this. And when I…well, you get the message. I want this prayer to sink into my bones so deeply that it becomes the final act of surrender in my life. With Catherine McAuley, foundress of the Sisters of Mercy, I can then pray, "My God, I am yours for time and eternity. Teach me to cast myself entirely into the arms of your loving Providence with a lively, unlimited confidence in your compassionate, tender pity."
As a person who ministers to and with youth, you spend a lot of your time providing young people with opportunities to encounter Christ. This won't work if you yourself don't have an intimate and trusting relationship with him. How have you surrendered yourself? Do you trust Jesus with your life?